Notes from Oscar Night - Cigar Can Wait

When a very attractive woman says she liked the dinner you cooked and hey how about hanging out and watching the Oscars together but you were planning on having a cigar and maybe reading a book...the answer is yes.  The recipe for a killer spinach salad is at the end for you!

She loves the glamorous dresses and the colorful sets!  It's so exciting!  Let's fill out an Oscar ballot and see who gets the most right!

ehh...

Some random notes on Oscar Night -

I see people I recognize sort of but couldn't tell you who they are.  I feel a little like a Ted Kaczynski type.  How is all this pop culture passing me by?  My attention was wandering for a bit thinking about spring and golfing.  Somebody mentioned lesbians.  Kind of snaps you right back, doesn't it?

Picked winners for films I never even saw but I can honestly say these guesses were not like throwing a dart.  Can't really explain that.  Nor can I explain Kirk Douglas - painful to watch.

Dude wins Best Adapted Screenplay for Social Network and says he's looking for respect from the guinea pig???   Huh?

Charlie Sheen is the new punchline.  nice...  Christian Bale needs to fill the F-Bomb void since Melissa Leo left the stage!  Randy Newman?  Family Guy got him exactly right.  Banksy gets mention - cool.  Now if I could get an app that would permanently block Celine Dion from my life I would be all set.

How did I get to share this Oscar Night with a lovely lady?  I think it was the spinach salad -

Tear some spinach leaves and toss in some fresh spring greens.  Add orange pieces and some crumbled feta cheese.  Toss that around in the bowl.  The dressing: one part strawberry balsamic, two parts walnut oil shaken well.  Yummy - I could have that dressing on just about anything.  On ice cream?  Hell yeah.

Try adding chopped grilled chicken to that salad and make that your whole meal.  You will be a hero!

Man-Sagna: It's Like Lasagna for Men

My son's swim team traditionally will "carb up" before a big swim meet.  This "pasta party" happens at our house with a dozen or so excited but exhausted swimmers every year.  The feast is followed by the tradition of shaving: heads, chests, legs, armpits, AND OTHER AREAS.  (Didn't need to see that!)

We wanted to put a new spin on the otherwise dull spaghetti with red sauce and began thinking of ways to crank up the flavor of the sauce.  Mario Batali would tell you it's the pasta - not the sauce.  ehh.  Who am I to argue?  I am the guy feeding a dozen hungry swimmers!  That's who!

Okay, so tomato-based sauce plus extra stuff equals marinara right?  Well, what if we go farther?  Add black olives, celery, (not impressed yet?) add STEAK, jalapeno peppers, beans!!  It's chili!  Oh Hell Yeah!  Layered with pasta, cheese, more chili, more cheese...

I give you MAN-SAGNA! 

Take your favorite lasagna recipe and ignore anything it says about the sauce.  Substitute chili.  Never out of a can, dude.  That's nasty.  Just make the chili the day before and refrigerate overnight to let the flavors get all happy.  Seriously, that's one thing that tastes great as leftovers.

My chili recipe is in the book (http://www.chicksdigyou.com/ ) and it makes plenty to eat right away and to save for the Man-Sagna recipe. 

Layer the chili,  cooked lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese (thinned with some chili), more chili, mozzarella, noodles, repeat as often as your baking dish will allow.  Bake at 350 degrees for about 90 minutes.  Let it sit for 20 minutes before cutting.

Grocery Store Hell

Express lane check out

Obey your signs.  I actually had a cashier once tell me to come over to the Express (8 Items or Less Only) Lane once when I had a cart heaped with groceries.  Eight items or less?  No, I had probably 88 items.

But I foolishly moved over to her lane with my 8 items and my additional 80 items, knowing that anyone ending up behind me would be pissed as hell.  Can you see where this is going?

Sure enough, some dork in black socks and high-top shoes with fish-belly-white legs and skin tight high school PE shorts buying smokes and beer, picking at his one good tooth ends up behind me.  He mutters under his breath about it being an Express Lane and who the hell can’t count around here?

Naturally I showed incredible self-restraint towards the dental poster boy and stewed silently.  Then, like the stand-up kind of guy I am, I asked the cashier to add his cheap beer and cigarettes to my bill so he could get on his way.  I was his hero and this guy actually began to seek me out in the store.  It got to be a little much, and I had to move to another city.

Don’t let this happen to you.  Obey your lane