A Beautiful Turd

It's 7:38 PM and I am outside with a scotch and a cigar licking my wounds because my roasted chicken didn't turn out right.  I am being a petulant turd.  Did you ever see "A Beautiful Mind"?  The scene where John Nash loses at the board game  -"The Hubris of the Defeated"  he claims the game is flawed, his play was perfect.

My roasted chicken was flawed, but my play was not perfect:  whole chicken, stuffed with fresh thyme, onion, lemon.  Seasoned with garlic, salt, pepper.  Oven baked for eighty minutes at 375...  it should have cooked all the way through.  It did not.  Damn.

Why?  AAAARRRGGGGHHH!  Well, I fucked up.  I ran out of propane for the grill.  I ALWAYS do this on the grill.  The grill thermometer reads 375.  It takes about an hour and twenty minutes on my grill.  I move to plan B... the oven.  Specifically the oven at 375.  Not the same thing...

My play was not perfect.  Nope.  Not done.  

I got impatient.  We are hungry.  Took it out, carved the breast meat.  The bird was giving me the bird.  Hahahaha!  You carnivorous bastard!  Still pink!

I'd love to say I microwaved the somewhat uncooked chicken, topped it with a marvelous sauce, poured more wine and salvaged the evening.  Nope.  Not suave.

The most recent issue of "Food & Wine" magazine has this sweet recipe from Grace Parisi for Scallops with Grapefruit and Bacon.  (I would give you a link here, but there is none!  God, could this day get any shittier?)  She (is awesome by the way...) says cook bacon at moderate heat until crisp ABOUT 3 MINUTES!  There is no freaking way bacon is going to be crisp on my stove after just 3 minutes!  Maybe hers, but not mine!

Lesson learned:  adjust times to your cooking modulus.  I have cooked bacon on my stove often enough to know that CRISP bacon is going to take longer than three fucking minutes.  I know the desired result.  Duh.  Bacon.  Crisp.  

I also know my stove.  And my oven.  And my grill.  The first rule in cooking something great (or at least good) - know your kitchen.  Then think about what you are doing.

The good news... tomorrow we will eat again.  I let you down, but I will be better.

By the way, John Nash turned that game theory into a Nobel Prize.

That chicken?  It's gonna be some awesome soup...take that you poultry bastard.  Until we eat again...  Peace.

You've Got To Be Kidding

Fall is here and I'm getting back into the kitchen.  Learned some new stuff that needs to be shared.  It's about soup.  Making soup from scratch versus opening a can.  Specifically you should know that opening a can is NOT going to get you chicks.

I have searched through numerous cookbooks and recipes online and discovered something amazing.  There are no recipes for soup.

"Shut the hell up Doug, I know for a damn fact that soup recipes exist."

Yes, my friend you are right, and I'm curious about your inner rage, but never mind that.  What I learned is that there is no ONE recipe for soup.  This was astounding to me.

Here at Chicks Dig Central there was a request for "Butternut Squash Soup" from Mrs. Chick.  Knowing that the Digging Me One would be quite happy to have butternut squash soup show up on the table on a cool autumn day, I decided to look for some ideas.

My usual modus operandi is to fire up all things Google and see what looks good (and what we might have in the fridge).  Imagine my surprise when the recipe lists for butternut squash soup contained anywhere from three ingredients to twenty-three ingredients!  Some of the recipes even had duck feathers!  Just kidding.

Looking at all the different options for making one soup was a bit puzzling, but it didn't take long to realize that some chefs put their own spin on a dish (or in this case a bowl).  I looked at other recipes for varying soups and found the same thing.  But, (here's the cool part) there are some common approaches to making one soup base and changing it up to be several happy endings in a warm, comforting bowl.

The Test Kitchen at Dig This Headquarters has been all abuzz with the institution of "Soup Sundays".  Starting with leeks, potatoes and chicken broth, we have made: Leek and Potato Soup (duhhh...), Watercress Soup, Spinach Bisque, and the afore mentioned Butternut Squash Soup.

Want some?  It's pretty easy...  Start with trimming 3 leeks (just the white or lightest green part) and 2 medium sized peeled potatoes chopped up.  Saute those in oil for 5 minutes, then pour in 64 ounces of chicken broth.  Simmer that for 20 minutes and blend it all up to make it nice and smooth.  Put it back into the pot to simmer for another 20 minutes so all that flavor can get happy together.  Taste it and you'll see it needs salt and pepper.  Add a little bit (teaspoon of salt, couple dashes of pepper) and taste it again.

You just made leek and potato soup.  It's really good.  You're getting veggies and comfort.  Serve it with bread and you can make that a meal.  I did the leek and potato soup and added shredded cheese and crumbled bacon to the bowl and it was freakin awesome!

Add peeled butternut squash before you do the simmer part and you've got butternut squash soup.  (I cut up the squash and scooped out the seeds.  Then put it in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes first.  Makes it easier to deal with.)

It's easy, it's tasty, and chicks dig that.

Lemme know what you think...