Be Good To Yourself

Be good to yourself.

This is a sexy refreshing cocktail that I made out of whatever we happened to have on hand.  The green stuff is fresh basil.  (Or do you say "baah sil"?)  No, you don't because that would sound stupid and pretentious.  Ahh screw it.  If it makes you laugh, do whatever you want.  We're all friends here.

The brown stuff is whiskey.  If I had bourbon on hand I would have done that, but I didn't.

The floating stuff is ice.  Yeah, duh.

What you don't see is the simple syrup.  Sugar, water and mixing.  How simple is that?  

You know what this recipe would be if you had rum?  And instead of baah sil you had mint?  It would be a mojito.  I did not want a mojito.  Watch Brian Griffin drink a mojito.  And I did not have mint.

 Put equal parts sugar and water into a glass and mash that up.  (There are better ways to do this involving boiling and cooling, but do you want to cook or do you want to drink?  Yeah, I thought so.)  Add a half dozen basil leaves and mash that up too.

Strain that into a glass and add whiskey.  Good stuff if you have it.  Add ice.  Swirl and enjoy.

Earlier this evening I was going to make dinner.  Mrs. Digs-Me was out for the evening.  Eating left-overs is not my thing, but it makes her happy when they get eaten.  I found some chicken, feta, couscous thing in the fridge.  That would be nice over some sauteed spinach...

It occurred to me to skip adding garlic to the oil.  It's just me after all.  Hey, screw that.  Add flavors!  You're worth it.  It's the little things!  Be good to yourself, my friends.

There's Something About Mary

Any freakin' thing you can think of - somebody has put it into a Bloody Mary.  Much like the martini, there is no ONE recipe for a Bloody Mary!  There is room for discussion on the topic naturally because opinions are like assholes.  Everyone has one. 


I have had Bloody Marys handed to me in a glass just STUFFED with food: celery, mushrooms, asparagus, onion, cheese, pickle, beef stick, olives.  It's a meal in a glass.

My thought: with all that food in there, it's time to take the meal out of the glass.  The Bloody Mary deconstructed has all the makings of a meal.  The challenge is to put all that in there and make it work as a salad.  Why a salad?  It's freakin' hot outside!

Now you will notice in the above photo a fabulous salad of fresh tomatoes, beef carpaccio, and grilled asparagus.  Next to the salad plate is an olive tapenade, horseradish sauce, a loaded cheese grater, and frozen vodka.  You know what goes into a great Bloody Mary recipe?  Same stuff my friend...

Let's break it down.  I've got sliced tomatoes subbing for the tomato juice.  There's your nice acidity.  Top that with some extra virgin olive oil and a nice balsamic glaze.  Beef carpaccio - that's Italian for sliced really damn thin.  Or when you're a lazy shit like me, slice it thicker and pound it thin (hey don't judge).  Tomato, beef and grilled asparagus (better than pickled) make up the base of the salad.

Top the salad with olive oil and a squeeze of lemon, a little salt and pepper AND grated black pepper BellaVitano cheese.  It's made in Plymouth, Wisconsin and it's delicious!  Click on the link and check it out.


Now the other stuff that goes into a Bloody Mary: olives, celery, mushroom, onion - there's my tapenade!  That goes on top of tomatoes, beef, bread, chicken, fish - anything and it is yummy! I will put a recipe link for it and you tell me how awesome it is!  Look on the tab bar...


The other thing people will put in a Bloody (short for Bloody Mary) is more spice.  Tabasco: ehh... been that done there, jalapeno: what the hell ever..., horseradish: WAIT!  that goes with my beef!  YES!  YES!  YES!  Done!


And of course vodka.  Tito's (made in America, by Americans dammit!) frozen, served in chilled glasses with a squeeze of lemon.  I challenge my friend Matt (go see him at Social Urban Bar & Restaurant) to take this Bloody Mary over the top!)


Serve chilled with chill music and chill friends.

5 Things I Hate About Paula Deen

Sorry, Y'All!  I jest cain't help it...  The woman drives me nuts.  The Southern cooking show queen turned diabetic, Paula Deen was quoted, "I think a few people who have access to a TV camera and ink wanted to hate on me for coming down with something.  But I so don't worry about it."  Well good for you Paula.  Don't give a thought to my 5 Things I Hate About Paula Deen list either.

1. Stupid Fake Smile  - check this out...

She tips her head left, she tips her head right.  Same over-the-top, look-at-me, I'm Paul Deen cheese.

Burger with donuts!

     2.  Ridiculous Food - She claims to cook Southern-style comfort food.  Paula, plumping up your butt for ease in sitting on hard chairs is not what they mean by comfort food.  Everyone has heard by now of the insane episode where she makes a burger with egg, bacon, and uses glazed donuts instead of buns ... or how about the Deep Fried Cheesecake episode http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42oUVwyFsZI  with 1/4 cup sugar, 24 ounces cream cheese, 1 more cup sugar, white chocolate, semisweet chocolate, powdered sugar, chocolate sauce and whipped cream, oh and eggs.  Shit.

3.  Selling diabetes medications.  Well all the celebrities are doin' it y'all.  That's like a pusher giving kids heroin so he can sell them more later.  Hey Bitch.  Cashing those checks from Novo Nordisk aren't ya?  http://www.novonordisk.com/  (Full disclosure - I'm a doctor and I see diabetics everyday and the consequences.  This is a tough disease and these companies are saving lives.  But medication without lifestyle changes are a drain on the healthcare system.)

4.  New diet in People magazine.  After getting fat and happy (literally) pushing stupid insane "Comfort Food" Y'all while hiding her diabetic condition - NOW she figures out that her plate should have a whole lot more vegetables and fish on it.

5.  ANOTHER celebration of the latest celebrity to get clean or lean!  Hooray!  Where are the celebrations for those individuals who stay clean or lean all along?  "Oh, Paula Deen lost 30 pounds by eating healthy!  Wow!  Isn't that great?  Maybe I can do it too!"  Well some of us don't have 30 pounds to lose so you can shower us with admiration.  You know why?  Because we never ate four cups of sugar with a pound of melted butter chaser in one sitting.  Like the prodigal son we are supposed to welcome Paula into the fold of the healthy and celebrate her finding the light (meals) blah blah blah.

Do yourself a favor, click on a fish recipe on my page or any page anywhere on the internet and find something you like about it.

Meanwhile Paula Deen will continue to cash checks from endorsement deals for everything from ham and cream cheese to diabetes medication and smiles her smarmy-fake smile for People magazine.  What a bunch of deep-fried baloney.

Funky Yummy Popcorn in Slo-Mo

Anything in slow motion is cool.  Add music and it's powerful, riveting stuff.  Behold the power of the montage.
Even commercials for golf tournaments use montages to make the sport exciting.

Quick aside:  You know damn well watching a golf tournament is three mind-numbing hours of green grass and bad pants.  (Congratulations to Rickie Fowler by the way: cool guy, bad clothes.)  Seriously, click on his name here and see his "collection".  Geez.  If I dressed like that?  Chicks dig wealthy guys who dress like that, but everyone else who dresses like that - no effin way!  I happen to like golf and I even watch on TV sometimes, but I'd rather play than watch.

Can slow motion make truly anything cool?  Let's see...  Try clicking here to see popcorn popping in slo-mo!  It's totally cool and one of the guys gets spattered with oil.  What's funny about that?  Are you kidding?  What's NOT funny about that!

Now why am I showing you popcorn?  Because I have this recipe see...

Click on the recipe page in the bar above.  You did notice that I put recipes up there for you, right?  Who cares about you more than anyone (besides your mom)?  That would be me.  Feel free to print them out and  share with chicks who dig you.

We had some amazing fries with truffle-oil, parmesan, and fresh pepper and I had the idea to make the same thing with popcorn.  It's my favorite snack in the world.  Every time I make this popcorn at home I get requests for more.

One word about truffle oil:  the earthy, funky flavor of a strong mushroom is not used in truffle oil.  It's actually olive oil with a synthetic additive (a thioether 2,4-dithiapentane).  Sexy, right?  Well truffles are expensive.  Like Rickie Fowler can afford them but not me type expensive.  But whatever...I'm not going to get all purist on you - it's the flavor that matters here.

And keeping your chick happy.  Dig that.

We're Being Invaded

Giant Asian shrimp are being found on our shores!     WE NEED BUTTER.  LOTS OF BUTTER!
Before any real panic sets in, we here at Chicks Dig Oceanographers Who Cook are going to calm your fears.  If the delicate ecosystem cannot sustain giant shrimp, bring them my way.  I know what to do with those  bad crustaceans.  Two movie references already?


The real concern is the giant shrimp are voracious eaters and are feeding on smaller shrimp (yeah, weird...they eat their own kind) and they are upsetting the delicate balance of our ecosystem.

Hmm... the giant shrimp are eating the small ones.  So?  You ever try peeling two dozen little things and dipping them in cocktail sauce?  What a pain in the ass.  Peel one giant one and munch that.  It's called efficiency baby.


Secondly, the balance of the native ecosystem?  Maybe we are witnessing an evolution of sorts.  Or perhaps like other species (Man for example), these yummy water-dwellers have been desperately trying to reach the Land of Opportunity!  America the Beautiful!  The NOAA website has the report on the science of this invasion.


I say, bring 'em on!  What else are the scientists freaking out about?


 Armored Catfish.  Yeah, I'd eat that.  His armor is no match for my Weber Grill!
 Northern Snakehead.  That bastard deserves to be eaten.  Clearly this guy is full of attitude - yup get my skillet.
  This thing has already been eaten and got pooped out.


   (all photos from http://news.yahoo.com/photos/freaky-fish-fuel-nightmares-slideshow/increase-massive-shrimp-discovered-gulf-photo-115900485.html.)


How about a recipe?  I'm here for you, sir.  We are going to need a sauce for the aqua-invaders. Everybody has a shrimp recipe...  Let's do fish.  Doug, why not shrimp?  Because I already have a fish picture and not a shrimp one, okay?

Salmon with lemon dill sauce.

1/2 Cup sour cream

2 teaspoons dill weed

juice from 1/4 lemon

salt and pepper to taste

salmon 

Mix the sour cream, dill, and lemon juice in a bowl and add salt and pepper to taste.  Both you and the sauce should chill for a while.

Brush olive oil on the salmon and season with salt and pepper.  Heat skillet over medium-high heat and sear salmon, skin side up for 3-4 minutes.  Carefully flip to skin side down and turn the heat down to medium to finish cooking.  Watch the sides to check for desired doneness.  I don't like salmon cooked to well-done.  When mine is medium-rare I turn the heat off and cover for five minutes.  

Top with yummy sauce.