Earlier this month, Cook County Sheriffs arrested 43 year old Dewayne Yarbrough for misdemeanor charge of possession of a dangerous animal. Seems five years ago he purchased an alligator and has been raising it in his suburban home ever since. He was asked why an alligator and replied, "because chicks dig it".
Dude...
Let's clear one thing up.
I don't know of any chick who would dig a guy just because he keeps an alligator in his house. How many chicks would dig a guy with one hand missing - knowing that his pet ate his hand? See, I think of all the things that could possibly impress a woman, reckless endangerment of limbs and appendages would be at the bottom of the list.
By the way, the alligator was fed 10 live mice per week. Yeah, I doubt the chicks are going to be digging the mice either. Is she really going to feel happy and safe and content being in the same house as rodents and reptiles?
She wants a thrill? Take her driving on the Dan Ryan with a 15 year-old behind the wheel on a learner's permit.
You know what she WILL dig? Tuna Tacos! Click on the link for the story! Click Right Here
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Getting Wild With Goats
Recently the bill was passed in Florida making it illegal to hump a goat.
Sen. Nan Rich pushed for the change in state law after being disgusted by a report in 2007 of a serial goat raper on the loose in the Sunshine State. Interestingly it took 3 tries to pass the bestiality bill making it illegal to have sexual activity between humans and animals which begs the question: what the hell took so long? Who said, "now wait just a doggone minute here - maybe the animal in question was consenting?"
Sidenote: the same day the "droopy drawers bill" was passed. Those criminal baggy-pants wearing teens imitating their favorite rapper-du jour will take note. Showing your Sponge Bob underwear while crossing the street holding up your jeans as you trot will not be tolerated. I wonder if law makers have the same problem with seeing young girls' thong straps showing above the rise of their jeans? Naw I didn't think so either. Come on Florida! Really? This one you can and should look the other way. It's a fad. Remember the crappy pastel colored leisure suits you wore in the 70's? Nobody outlawed that shit and it was just as offensive.
One thing we cannot condone though is animal humping. Well thank God goats and other innocent animals are now free to roam the streets in the eyes of Florida law enforcement officials!
Here at Chicks Dig Central we are very interested in exploring happiness in any form one can find it on this crazy planet but remain staunch believers in obeying the law while pursuing such happiness. May we suggest the pleasure seeker enjoy the animal in a gustatory fashion? It can be stimulating in very many ways: visual, tactile, olfactory, etc.
In fact let's put together a date night celebrating the goat! Cheese, that is!
Go buy a nice artisan loaf of bread, and some goat cheese. Make sure you have on hand some good wine (one of my new faves - the Z 52 zinfandel is a great choice here) and maybe pick up a nice charcuterie - ham, sausage, prosciutto, or whatever looks good. Also pick up a nice ripe pear or two and a little dark chocolate for dessert. Soften the cheese and put it in a bowl then add chopped chives. Stir that up and make sure the chopped chives are mixed in real well. Set that aside. You're gonna have a picnic! (What?)
This is all about easy dude! Slice the bread kind of thin and pour on a little olive oil and sprinkle lightly with salt and fresh pepper. Put it on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees to toast it lightly. Eight to ten minutes? Yeah, good. Meanwhile slice the meat and the pear so they are nice and thin. Put the hot bread slices, the meat, the pear onto a plate. Have fun trying different combinations of flavors: bread with pear, meat with cheese, pear with cheese, etc.
The creamy mouthfeel of the food works on the tongue with the wine and makes you and her happy. That is a much better (and legal) way to pleasure yourself with a goat! Animal humping - no. Getting wild - yes.
Sen. Nan Rich pushed for the change in state law after being disgusted by a report in 2007 of a serial goat raper on the loose in the Sunshine State. Interestingly it took 3 tries to pass the bestiality bill making it illegal to have sexual activity between humans and animals which begs the question: what the hell took so long? Who said, "now wait just a doggone minute here - maybe the animal in question was consenting?"
Sidenote: the same day the "droopy drawers bill" was passed. Those criminal baggy-pants wearing teens imitating their favorite rapper-du jour will take note. Showing your Sponge Bob underwear while crossing the street holding up your jeans as you trot will not be tolerated. I wonder if law makers have the same problem with seeing young girls' thong straps showing above the rise of their jeans? Naw I didn't think so either. Come on Florida! Really? This one you can and should look the other way. It's a fad. Remember the crappy pastel colored leisure suits you wore in the 70's? Nobody outlawed that shit and it was just as offensive.
One thing we cannot condone though is animal humping. Well thank God goats and other innocent animals are now free to roam the streets in the eyes of Florida law enforcement officials!
Here at Chicks Dig Central we are very interested in exploring happiness in any form one can find it on this crazy planet but remain staunch believers in obeying the law while pursuing such happiness. May we suggest the pleasure seeker enjoy the animal in a gustatory fashion? It can be stimulating in very many ways: visual, tactile, olfactory, etc.
In fact let's put together a date night celebrating the goat! Cheese, that is!
Go buy a nice artisan loaf of bread, and some goat cheese. Make sure you have on hand some good wine (one of my new faves - the Z 52 zinfandel is a great choice here) and maybe pick up a nice charcuterie - ham, sausage, prosciutto, or whatever looks good. Also pick up a nice ripe pear or two and a little dark chocolate for dessert. Soften the cheese and put it in a bowl then add chopped chives. Stir that up and make sure the chopped chives are mixed in real well. Set that aside. You're gonna have a picnic! (What?)
This is all about easy dude! Slice the bread kind of thin and pour on a little olive oil and sprinkle lightly with salt and fresh pepper. Put it on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees to toast it lightly. Eight to ten minutes? Yeah, good. Meanwhile slice the meat and the pear so they are nice and thin. Put the hot bread slices, the meat, the pear onto a plate. Have fun trying different combinations of flavors: bread with pear, meat with cheese, pear with cheese, etc.
The creamy mouthfeel of the food works on the tongue with the wine and makes you and her happy. That is a much better (and legal) way to pleasure yourself with a goat! Animal humping - no. Getting wild - yes.
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