The Meatloaf Atonement

My family has never been served meatloaf because I forebade it.  When my wife's birthday came around this year the long-standing joke of making meatloaf came up.  I offered to cook anything she would like for her birthday dinner.

My wife's fond childhood memories of meatloaf on the dinner table are in direct contrast to my childhood experiences with the baked beef dish.  My frustrated mother ordered her picky son to, "put that bite of food in your mouth and go to bed!" after I sat for about three hours refusing to eat my dinner.  

I tucked that meatloaf between my cheek and gums, put on my pajamas and went to bed.  The next morning, it was still there.  (The horror - the horror)

Having learned a thing or two about cooking all these years later, I figured it was time to end the deprivation.  I needed to design a meatloaf recipe that would conjure the happy memories of her youth, while making something palatable enough to erase my past indiscretion.  

I am happy to announce this recipe will be served at our table again.  The kitchen laboratory at Chicks Dig Central was all smiles!  The dish was juicy and flavorful.  This was based on a recipe for mini cheeseburgers from the Morton's Steak Bible (http://www.amazon.com/Mortons-Steak-Bible-Legendary-Steakhouse/dp/1400097940)  .

photo from Morton's website http://www.mortons.com/menu/barbites/

I give you:  The Meatloaf Atonement...

1 1/4 lb ground sirloin

1/2 lb ground pork

1/2 med onion, diced

4-5 white mushrooms, sliced

1 tbs minced garlic

2 eggs

6 tbs tomato juice

1/4 cup each: grated parmesan, panko bread crumbs

1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp fresh pepper

Heat oven to 375 degrees, and saute onion, garlic, mushrooms 5 - 6 minutes, let cool.

Add onion mixture and all other ingredients to large bowl and gently mix using your hands.

Place in loaf pan and bake 45 minutes.

Pour off fat and let sit for 5 minutes before slicing and serving.

Serve with a juicy shiraz.  Then put on your pajamas and go to bed, you good boy!

Affligem Tripel - Like Raiders of the Lost Ark

(photo from http://greatbrewers.com/product/affligem-tripel)

This is a beer for adventurous types - guys can channel their inner Indiana Jones and ladies, their inner Marion Ravenwood.  Stay with me here...

First, the beer - the bottle is caged and corked (like a champagne - cool!) and the pour is somewhat cloudy.  For a tripel (meaning three times the malt is used in the brewing process) my expectation was a chocolate-dark color.  Silly me; it's only a couple shades darker than Blahblahblah Light.  The aroma is chalky pear, and circus taffy.  The sweetness surprises, and while the balanced bitterness of the hops is present initially, it fades quickly to be follow by the aggressive alcohol pushing its way to the front of the line.

Pair this delicious, sweet, boozy brew with spicy chili for contrast and balance and you've got all the makings of a fun adventure worthy of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Indiana Jones is going to love the chili's heat and Marion will be enticed by the sweetness (but you'll recall she can handle her alcohol!)

Chili needs meat and lots of it.  So put a pound of skirt steak and a pound of pork sausage in a big pot with 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil and brown the meat on medium high.  Stir often.  Drain most of the fat out and add a whole bunch of stuff: 4 or 5 Tablespoons minced garlic, one chopped onion, 2 chopped jalapeno peppers, 2 cans of crushed tomatoes, 1 can tomato sauce, a handful of chopped black olives, 2 stalks of chopped celery, one can pinto beans, one small can roasted chiles (chopped).

See, the cool thing about this is you can add a ton of stuff and make it any way you like it.  Olives suck in your book, screw ‘em; want some red onion instead, toss it in.  Notice I said 4 or 5 tablespoons of garlic.  Not precise measurements, cuz it’s YOUR thing, not mine.

Moving on to some spices.  Gotta have some of this good stuff in there and people freak out about this part, so I’ll be a little more exact, but feel free to screw around with it. 

Add in 3 Tablespoons chili powder, 1 Tablespoon paprika, 1 Tablespoon cumin, 1 Tablespoon oregano, 1 bay leaf, salt and pepper to taste, oh yeah, and one can beer.

Turn the heat down to low and put the cover on.  You want to simmer this stuff for a couple hours, so some back and stir it every once in a while.  If you like your chili a little thicker, you can add a little corn meal (like a half teaspoon at a time) stir it around and check the thickness.  I saw the corn meal trick on TV once.  It actually works well.

You can serve the chili in big bowls with some chopped raw onion, grated cheese, sour cream, Tabasco sauce, all on the side.  Lots of cold beer, too.  Don’t forget the beer.  

A Beer Review with a Recipe!

It always amuses me when I ask my dad what he'd like to drink.  His answer is usually "anything cold and wet" which is interesting because that's what a dog's nose is when the pup is healthy.  Now, one would think beer drinkers need no help in tasting beer.  If you are tapping a keg of Blahblahblah Light you probably don't even care.  If it's like a dog's nose (cold, wet) then yup - it's good.  But when pouring a craft beer, you deserve to experience more.  Some thoughts then on tasting your next fine brew...

Pour beer into a clean glass.  Debris and residue that you may not see can interfere with taste and can actually cause the beer to go flat prematurely.

Let the foam rise and settle just a bit.  That's sexy.  Now, just like sampling wine, put your nose in the glass and give it a good sniff.  Likely you'll first notice the presence of hops imparting a floral, spicy, or citrus smell.  The malt in the beer will come after, bringing grassy, grainy, or chocolate notes.

Now it's time to take a sip - let the beer sit in your mouth for a bit.  You're checking the mouthfeel.  Is it thick or light?  Creamy or thin?  You may even notice a metallic or silky feel.  When you swallow, what do you pick up first?  Sweet, sour, salty or bitter are good starts, but what else?  Clove, honey, butterscotch, coffee, grass, leather?

Finally, how about the finish?  Quick?  Lingering?  The length of the finish is an important quality of the whole beer delicious-osity.

Rogue's very popular Dead Guy Ale is a bold and balanced craft brew in the style of a German Maibock.  The pour shows a big tan head with a cloudy, deep honey colored beer.  The aroma is forward with floral notes and citrus from Rogue's Pacman Yeast and Saaz hops.  A creamy, silky mouthfeel gets you started enjoying this beer with flavors of caramel and cocoa.  What really sets this beer apart however is the balance of the hops and malt.  It has a finish as long as a Baptist sermon.  The bitterness of the hops lingers but is not overpowering.  Do yourself a favor and serve this a little warmer than your typical beer.  You will be rewarded with a hint of banana and clove in the finish that are lost at cooler temperatures.

Serve Rogue Dead Guy Ale with contrasting food to really wow your friends.  Bring this beer to the party with Jalapeno Pie or spicy pork sandwiches.

Get a jar of whole jalapeno peppers.  Chop the tops off so the tough stem isn’t there.  Then slice the pepper lengthwise in half.  Scrape the seeds out of the middle of each one so you don’t have a killer pie.  Do not touch your face or any other sensitive part of your anatomy after handling jalapenos!  Just saying…

Spray a shallow baking dish or a pie plate with cooking spray and place the sliced pepper halves in the bottom.  Now beat a couple of eggs in a separate bowl and pour those over the jalapeno peppers.  Sprinkle one cup of grated cheddar cheese over that.  Want more, okay, go a little more.  It’s your thing dude. 

Bake that in the oven at 325 degrees for about 15 to 20 minutes.  Let it cool and then cut it into wedges for serving.  

Dinner In A Bowl

IT'S DINNER!  IN A BOWL!

Nothing will take you back to your childhood (or happy altered-state college days) like eating a meal out of a bowl.  You can't help but smile a little thinking about being the first one to open up a new box of Fruity Pebbles and pouring that nice cold milk over those rainbow colored crispy bits of happiness.  It is amazing however that kids these days have NO FREAKIN' IDEA who the Flintstones are - and yet they sell the crap outta that cereal.

Other GRRREAT!!!(pardon my Tony the Tiger) things come in bowls: ice-cream, chicken noodle soup,and chili just to name a few.  Let's turn it up to 11 here and have Dinner In A Bowl!

One of the ideas we like at home is the burrito in a bowl concept which I BORROWED from a restaurant chain that rhymes with Chip-Oh-Tlay.  But, check this out, you can change up the flavors and make it Mediterranean or Italian or Whateverian.

So typically you will have a starch like rice - well change it up amigo!  Change it up!  (But Doug, change is hard...)  Yeah, I know, change is hard - dollar bills are soft.  Which one do you like?  Uh huh, thought so.

Burrito = rice, beans, meat, cheese, onions, etc.

Dinner in a bowl turned up to 11 = tater tots, grilled steak, blue cheese and red wine, mushrooms sauce.

Or how about couscous, shrimp, cucumber, tomatoes, with dill and white wine-dijon dressing.

I am so doing this!!  And I am serving it to friends and they are going to love it and you will too!  (Shit Doug, calm down now...)  pant, pant, pant... okay Dude, sorry...  calming down.

Hey, if you like this stuff, and you like chicks digging you (and who wouldn't?)  subscribe to my blog!  If you're the first new subscriber, send me an email and I will send you a free copy of the book.  (I know, it's crazy how much I care about you!  I'm getting all emotional...)

You've Got To Be Kidding

Fall is here and I'm getting back into the kitchen.  Learned some new stuff that needs to be shared.  It's about soup.  Making soup from scratch versus opening a can.  Specifically you should know that opening a can is NOT going to get you chicks.

I have searched through numerous cookbooks and recipes online and discovered something amazing.  There are no recipes for soup.

"Shut the hell up Doug, I know for a damn fact that soup recipes exist."

Yes, my friend you are right, and I'm curious about your inner rage, but never mind that.  What I learned is that there is no ONE recipe for soup.  This was astounding to me.

Here at Chicks Dig Central there was a request for "Butternut Squash Soup" from Mrs. Chick.  Knowing that the Digging Me One would be quite happy to have butternut squash soup show up on the table on a cool autumn day, I decided to look for some ideas.

My usual modus operandi is to fire up all things Google and see what looks good (and what we might have in the fridge).  Imagine my surprise when the recipe lists for butternut squash soup contained anywhere from three ingredients to twenty-three ingredients!  Some of the recipes even had duck feathers!  Just kidding.

Looking at all the different options for making one soup was a bit puzzling, but it didn't take long to realize that some chefs put their own spin on a dish (or in this case a bowl).  I looked at other recipes for varying soups and found the same thing.  But, (here's the cool part) there are some common approaches to making one soup base and changing it up to be several happy endings in a warm, comforting bowl.

The Test Kitchen at Dig This Headquarters has been all abuzz with the institution of "Soup Sundays".  Starting with leeks, potatoes and chicken broth, we have made: Leek and Potato Soup (duhhh...), Watercress Soup, Spinach Bisque, and the afore mentioned Butternut Squash Soup.

Want some?  It's pretty easy...  Start with trimming 3 leeks (just the white or lightest green part) and 2 medium sized peeled potatoes chopped up.  Saute those in oil for 5 minutes, then pour in 64 ounces of chicken broth.  Simmer that for 20 minutes and blend it all up to make it nice and smooth.  Put it back into the pot to simmer for another 20 minutes so all that flavor can get happy together.  Taste it and you'll see it needs salt and pepper.  Add a little bit (teaspoon of salt, couple dashes of pepper) and taste it again.

You just made leek and potato soup.  It's really good.  You're getting veggies and comfort.  Serve it with bread and you can make that a meal.  I did the leek and potato soup and added shredded cheese and crumbled bacon to the bowl and it was freakin awesome!

Add peeled butternut squash before you do the simmer part and you've got butternut squash soup.  (I cut up the squash and scooped out the seeds.  Then put it in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes first.  Makes it easier to deal with.)

It's easy, it's tasty, and chicks dig that.

Lemme know what you think...

A JuJu - ectomy

I have had an unbe-frickin-lievable run of bad luck lately.  Car repair bills, broken bones, tax increases, blah blah blah.  You name it - it's happening.  Life is just kicking my ass right now.  Not that one can expect to have NO bad news, NO bad days, NO surprise bills in the mail.  That wouldn't be life - that would be bad Disney-esque television scripting.  That would be a different kind of hell.

We need to be thankful every day, but it's difficult when life kicks you in the teeth.  I believe the more we complain about the crappy things that happen, the more we invite crappy things to happen.  We cannot get down about this stuff - it's not life or death - mostly life.  Negative thoughts are not going to bring punishment into your life -  rather they invite more negativity.  It feeds upon itself.  A whirling vortex of lousy luck sucking us into the toilet of unhappiness. 

There is a force in the universe: call it God, call it karma, call it The Force.  I refer to it as JuJu.  I believe that the JuJu rewards positive thought and behavior.  Once upon a time my mantra was, "Things just tend to go my way."  It's a good mantra.  It offers up a happy reinforcement to Good JuJu.  A little thank you, if you will.  A little fist-bump to the fates. 

In high school I recall being in a really foul mood one day.  I couldn't even tell you what it was all about.  The only room that truly offered any privacy was of course the bathroom, so I ducked into the loo (funny word - those Brits are hilarious) and closed the door.  Took a long look at myself in the mirror and decided that  punching the reflection of that goofy-looking jerk smirking at me would not help at all.  Two minutes of mocking that angry face and suddenly I was laughing at how stupid I was being.  A bad mood turned into a good laugh.

That was my first lesson in the JuJu-ectomy.  I needed to excise the bad shit and replace it with Good JuJu (sure you can call it an exorcism if you like).

I am going to give my self another JuJu-ectomy.  Here's my plan:
   The last ten people that I encounter today will be the recipients of a genuine THANK-YOU.  There must be something nice about these people that have been drawn into my life.  I have to assume I will not be bumping into Manson, or Hitler or Casey Anthony. 

    Next, given my run of bad luck lately, it is likely that one or more of these people did something to piss me off.  They will be forgiven.

    Finally the person or persons who made me happy or made me laugh will be told how awesome that was for me.

Maybe I will even cook for them.  But that's a blog for another day.  http://www.chicksdigyou.com/

Up In Smoke

There are of course many fans of baseball who like to cook.  Some of these fans are even hot women, so here at Chicks Dig Headquarters we are ever vigilant to monitor issues that affect you: "Guy Who Aims to Impress Chicks"!  AND at the bottom of the page is a grilling idea to help you elevate your backyard culinary skills.

A couple of rules here to get us started.  First, baseball is best enjoyed in the movies.  "The Sandlot."  "Field of Dreams" ("The man's done enough.  Leave him alone.")  "Bull Durham".  "A League of Their Own".  (A little shout out to my home of Rockford - nice.)

Second, the Chicago Cubs are awful.  Enough said.

There is a baseball issue in the news that irks me : July 2, 2011 Tampa Rays (formerly Devil Rays - what's up with changing the name?) versus St. Louis Cardinals.  Watch the throwback jerseys the Rays will wear.  They will be sporting the jersey of the Tampa Smokers.  Keith Morelli of The Tampa Tribune reports that the image of the lit cigar in the underscore of "Smokers" will be eliminated.   Click here for the whole story .

Notice the updated jersey STILL SAYS "Smokers"!  Duh!  Take out the cigar and you change the message!  What?  Are you kidding me?  It says "Smokers"!  Choose your own side of the smoke-free debate.  (I'm pro-choice.)

photo: Tampa Bay Rays

This is ignorant on the part of the Tampa Rays organization.  Dabbling in revisionist history is dangerous.  The very idea that we can promote "smoke-free" and safe-guard our children's children for the future is another bone-headed politically correct notion that lazy parents (and legislators) cling to.  They look to goofy acts like this to teach people, old and young, that you don't need to get facts and make decisions appropriate to your needs.  Just trust Big Brother to take care of all your needs.

Do we really think there will come a day when we have eradicated the very idea of smoking?  When an image of a lit cigar will invoke a tiny voice to ask, "Daddy, what's that?"  No.  The choice of smoking is a discussion that every parent must have with their child.  It goes something like this: "Well little Tommy, smoking has been shown to be a habit that can make people very sick.  Some people still like to do it.  I choose to have a cigar once in a while because I like them.  I looked at the risks and decided to smoke only occasionally.  Someday you will have to make your own choice."  (Actual discussion with my own guys.)  Click here to say hi to Dennis

Now don't get me wrong.  Not all smoking laws are evil and off-base.  (Baseball reference!  Ha!  Get it?  The Cubs are evil!)  wait for it, wait for it... okay.  Moving on.  I like the smoking ban in restaurants because I like to taste my pork - not your Camel. 

I promised you a grilling idea.  You got it exhalted Barbeque BigWig!

Here's a way to make smoking work FOR you.  A tip for summertime grilling for ya!  Think of a fresh spice that would complement your grilled meat.  Fresh thyme and chicken.  Fresh chives and beef.  Whatever.  Next time you step out to the grill grab a bunch of fresh herbs from the produce section of the grocery and place six or seven sprigs right next to the meat on the grill and close the lid.  Check it later and you'll see the charred remains of herbal yumminess - yeah go ahead and add some more!  You've got nowhere to go, right?  The smoking herb will infuse the meat with a flavor that you can't get out of jar.  Use this in addition to your regular spices and you'll find combinations that will get you noticed.  Chicks Dig You!

Silence of the Limes

Mark Zuckerberg, this one's for you!

Mr. Zuckerberg founded Facebook (you did see The Social Network, right?  good movie).  Mark has taken to eating only meat that he himself has slaughtered.  The goal of this is to make him more thoughtful about what he is ingesting and thankful for the life of the animal.  He reportedly started with a live lobster and has since killed and eaten other animals: pig, chicken, goat.  When he is not eating meat (because he didn't take them down himself) he eats a vegetarian diet.  Which brings to mind the obvious question:  Who kills the vegetarians that he eats?

Ooooh.  Sorry.  Bad taste.  (Get it?) 

In all seriousness, we here at Chicks Dig Citrus Ranch (home of the Happy Fruit) applaud Mr. Zuckerberg's efforts at conscientous consuming and wish to further his education by offering the proper way to slaughter limes.  Limes are an important part of any health-conscious consumer of... BEER!  Corona plus vitamin C equals nutrition.  Hot women on TV are seen drinking beer - so that means it's true.

We must take proper care to get this delicious vitamin into our diet in a respectful, responsible fashion.

WARNING -  the images presented are graphic in nature and may be disturbing to some... (wussies!)

Click video HERE

What does one do with all those dead but delicious limes?  Make Lime-Tequila Wings baby!

Lime-Tequila Wings

Sweet, Salty, Juicy, Yummy - you get it!  Fan-Freaking-Tastic!

Here's the recipe:



Get your package of chicken wings and make sure they’re thawed.  Put them in a large Zip-type bag and pour in a cup of tequila.  Squeeze the juice from two limes in there and throw in the carcasses.  Sprinkle sea salt (2 Tablespoons or so) on top.  Seal it up and let that marinate for a couple hours.  You are brining the chicken with the salt and adding flavor with the tequila!  God!  How cool is that?  Remember to turn the bag over every once in a while.  Drink some tequila in the mean time.

Heat up the grill to medium-high and space the wings evenly apart.  Sprinkle on a little seasoned salt and grill the wings for ten minutes on each side.  Now turn down the heat to medium-low and finish ‘em off low and slow until they are golden brown and crispy.  This part takes about an hour so take your time.  Every 10 to15 minutes during the low and slow part squeeze a little more lime over the wings.  It's important!  The lime is going to carmelize to a sweet, sticky, yummy glaze!  When your are done, sprinkle on a little sea salt.

Tell all your friends how hard you worked and how much the ladies dig you!

Tuna Vs. Alligator

Earlier this month, Cook County Sheriffs arrested 43 year old Dewayne Yarbrough for misdemeanor charge of possession of a dangerous animal.  Seems five years ago he purchased an alligator and has been raising it in his suburban home ever since.  He was asked why an alligator and replied, "because chicks dig it".

Dude...

Let's clear one thing up.
I don't know of any chick who would dig a guy just because he keeps an alligator in his house.  How many chicks would dig a guy with one hand missing - knowing that his pet ate his hand?  See, I think of all the things that could possibly impress a woman, reckless endangerment of limbs and appendages would be at the bottom of the list. 

By the way, the alligator was fed 10 live mice per week.  Yeah, I doubt the chicks are going to be digging the mice either.  Is she really going to feel happy and safe and content being in the same house as rodents and reptiles?

She wants a thrill?  Take her driving on the Dan Ryan with a 15 year-old behind the wheel on a learner's permit.

You know what she WILL dig? Tuna Tacos!  Click on the link for the story!  Click Right Here

Getting Wild With Goats

Recently the bill was passed in Florida making it illegal to hump a goat.

Sen. Nan Rich pushed for the change in state law after being disgusted by a report in 2007 of a serial goat raper on the loose in the Sunshine State.  Interestingly it took 3 tries to pass the bestiality bill making it illegal to have sexual activity between humans and animals which begs the question: what the hell took so long?  Who said, "now wait just a doggone minute here - maybe the animal in question was consenting?" 

Sidenote: the same day the "droopy drawers bill" was passed.  Those criminal baggy-pants wearing teens imitating their favorite rapper-du jour will take note.  Showing your Sponge Bob underwear while crossing the street holding up your jeans as you trot will not be tolerated.  I wonder if law makers have the same problem with seeing young girls' thong straps showing above the rise of their jeans?  Naw I didn't think so either.  Come on Florida!  Really?  This one you can and should look the other way.  It's a fad.  Remember the crappy pastel colored leisure suits you wore in the 70's?  Nobody outlawed that shit and it was just as offensive.

One thing we cannot condone though is animal humping.  Well thank God goats and other innocent animals are now free to roam the streets in the eyes of Florida law enforcement officials! 

Here at Chicks Dig Central we are very interested in exploring happiness in any form one can find it on this crazy planet but remain staunch believers in obeying the law while pursuing such happiness.  May we suggest the pleasure seeker enjoy the animal in a gustatory fashion?  It can be stimulating in very many ways: visual, tactile, olfactory, etc. 

In fact let's put together a date night celebrating the goat!  Cheese, that is!

Go buy a nice artisan loaf of bread, and some goat cheese.  Make sure you have on hand some good wine (one of my new faves - the Z 52 zinfandel is a great choice here) and maybe pick up a nice charcuterie - ham, sausage, prosciutto, or whatever looks good.  Also pick up a nice ripe pear or two and a little dark chocolate for dessert.  Soften the cheese and put it in a bowl then add chopped chives.  Stir that up and make sure the chopped chives are mixed in real well.  Set that aside.  You're gonna have a picnic!  (What?) 

This is all about easy dude!  Slice the bread kind of thin and pour on a little olive oil and sprinkle lightly with salt and fresh pepper.  Put it on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees to toast it lightly.  Eight to ten minutes?  Yeah, good.  Meanwhile slice the meat and the pear so they are nice and thin.  Put the hot bread slices, the meat, the pear onto a plate.  Have fun trying different combinations of flavors:  bread with pear, meat with cheese, pear with cheese, etc. 

The creamy mouthfeel of the food works on the tongue with the wine and makes you and her happy.  That is a much better (and legal) way to pleasure yourself with a goat!  Animal humping - no.  Getting wild - yes.

I Am Squints

In the movie "The Sandlot" (referenced in my last blog, so I'm just going with it here) "Squints Palledorous launches himself to the bottom of the swimming pool after years of watching Wendy Peffercorn, the lifeguard rubbing and oiling herself (she knew damn well the boys couldn't help but stare).  Wendy jumps in after Squints and begins mouth to mouth resuscitation - all part of Squints' plan.  He plants a big kiss and walks taller that day.

Today I am walking taller.  After putting myself out there by agreeing to cook for twenty-four people a menu of filet mignon with three mushroom sauce, rosemary-garlic potatoes, bread with lemon-parsley compound butter... I am Squints.

With awesome help from: Tom, Toby, Brian, Tom and Scott we cooked for and served 24 mothers and sons and they left for the dance smiling, happy, and satisfied.  Chicks dig that.

My favorite part is stopping amidst the chaos to enjoy the laughing, smiling faces and the sounds of the dinner plates as the forks are reloaded for another bite of yumm.  We dads hit the obligatory high-fives and soaked in the revelry.  Then got busy plating dessert, pouring wine, refilling water glasses and serving.

For those who asked, here is a rough sketch of how to do the sauce:

Make the sauce the day before, because feeding that many is too difficult to handle every task.  Chop 3 large shallots and saute in butter about five minutes, add chopped shiitake, cremini, portabella mushrooms (about half-pound each) and cook medium-high for 10 more minutes.  Add half bottle of good red wine and reduce heat to medium.  Simmer that until volume of liquid is down to about one-third of total.  Now add 3 cups of low sodium beef broth and simmer that until reduced to half.  At that point I cooled and stored the sauce.

Next day I brought it up to heat slowly and added fresh rosemary and just before serving, adjusted the salt and pepper to taste.  Whisk in a little butter (that's called mounting) and you're ready to go.

The other one that people asked about was the compound butter.  This is a cool thing because you can serve it with bread or vegetables.  OR you can put a little on top of a nice piece of fish or even a steak.  As it melts it turns into its own yummy sauce!  I know!  How cool!

Soften one stick of butter and add the zest of one lemon.  Chop a handful of fresh parsley and stir well.  It will still be soft, so spoon that onto clear plastic wrap and form it into a long tube.  Twist the ends to close and place it into the fridge so it will firm up again.  When chilled, slice into little disks and serve.

Happy People Eating Good Food

rock on,

Squints

Put Yourself Out There

Dudes (and Dudettes),

Life is not worth playing it safe all the time.  Do you remember in the movie "The Sandlot" when "Squints" plans to drown himself in the pool just to have the lifeguard give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?  He took a chance and became a hero that day.

We are not given confidence - it is only earned when we challenge ourselves.  "Squints" walked a little taller that day.

I am going to walk taller in one week or I am going to fall flat on my goofy face.  Here is my challenge.  I volunteered to cook for what I thought was a group of ten people.  It turned out to be twenty-four.  But wait.  It gets worse.  I am cooking petite fillet with mushroom sauce, rosemary-garlic baked potatoes with a lemon compound butter, and I hope to have a nice dessert in there for after the meal and before the dance.

Here's the background.  Every year the high school has a mother-son dance and every year the dancers go out to eat at a local restaurant prior to arriving at the dance.  The highlight of the evening is never the meal - in fact very often the guys get very little to eat and they are rushed.  Not a great way to start the festivities.

This year one of the moms suggested doing an elegant meal at home, without the rush and stress for all the guys - and wouldn't you know it - in a heartbeat I volunteered to cook for everybody.

Now why the hell would I do something like that?  Dude, number one: I never go to these dances - I have sons, no daughters, number two: I know how to cook, number three: my wife and son are going and I want them to have fun and by the way I happen to know  that "Chicks Dig Guys That Cook"!  Oh!  So there you have it - I am putting myself out there.  Cooking for 24 people is quite likely going to be a freaking train wreck.  (Or I could be a freaking legend...)

I want you to put yourself out there too.  It is worth the risk to become a legend - the guy that can be counted on. 

I will do my best to make this a success.  If I fail, I will still have lived the thrill of that roller-coaster ride - but I will be the guy that peed all over himself, stepping out of the ride with kids laughing hysterically at me. 

Keep you posted...

To Grill or Not To Grill

Ok - we gotta talk.  Too many guys are avoiding cooking if they can't use a grill.  Spring is coming and grilling weather will be here soon, but come on!  I agree that there is something soul-satisfying - even primal - about grilling meat with flame (making it the near exclusive domain of "Man's Job") but it feels kind of limiting to the palette of flavors that you can create.

"No, no no!"   I hear guys defending their rightful place outside - tongs in one hand, beer in the other. 

"Yeah!  That's what I'm talking about."  Okay, calm yourself.  I get it.  You may be thinking that it's cool if she does everything else and hands you a plate of raw meat.  You're a hero.

Those dinners are fine and the two of you are working together and having fun.  (You are offering to help with the dishes, right?)

Try this though.  Ramp up your game.  She would totally dig you for cooking the whole meal and you may not be able to step out to the grill necessarily.  I'm going to help you get yourself dug.  "Thanks, Doug!"  You're welcome.

Thaw two chicken breasts and rub olive oil all over them.  Put a handful of finely chopped pecans on a plate and add salt and pepper.  "Whoa.  How much?"  Not much.  A teaspoon or so of salt and half teaspoon of pepper.  Roll the chicken around in that like a kid rolling around in a pile of leaves.  Happy chicken!

Let that sit for a bit while you get the oven preheated to 350 degrees and get a skillet on the stove.  Heat that skillet til it's hot!  Add a little bit of oil to the pan and sear the chicken for a minute on each side.  Then finish the chicken in the oven for twelve minutes.  (It's still cooking, but kind of resting too.)  Comes out crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. 

Obviously the coating could not be done on the grill the same way, so I want you to have this in your arsenal.  You can serve this with couscous (easy directions on the box - stir in a little feta and a few sun dried tomatoes that you've chopped up), a nice salad and a Kendal-Jackson Chardonnay.

Let me know how you like it!

Notes from Oscar Night - Cigar Can Wait

When a very attractive woman says she liked the dinner you cooked and hey how about hanging out and watching the Oscars together but you were planning on having a cigar and maybe reading a book...the answer is yes.  The recipe for a killer spinach salad is at the end for you!

She loves the glamorous dresses and the colorful sets!  It's so exciting!  Let's fill out an Oscar ballot and see who gets the most right!

ehh...

Some random notes on Oscar Night -

I see people I recognize sort of but couldn't tell you who they are.  I feel a little like a Ted Kaczynski type.  How is all this pop culture passing me by?  My attention was wandering for a bit thinking about spring and golfing.  Somebody mentioned lesbians.  Kind of snaps you right back, doesn't it?

Picked winners for films I never even saw but I can honestly say these guesses were not like throwing a dart.  Can't really explain that.  Nor can I explain Kirk Douglas - painful to watch.

Dude wins Best Adapted Screenplay for Social Network and says he's looking for respect from the guinea pig???   Huh?

Charlie Sheen is the new punchline.  nice...  Christian Bale needs to fill the F-Bomb void since Melissa Leo left the stage!  Randy Newman?  Family Guy got him exactly right.  Banksy gets mention - cool.  Now if I could get an app that would permanently block Celine Dion from my life I would be all set.

How did I get to share this Oscar Night with a lovely lady?  I think it was the spinach salad -

Tear some spinach leaves and toss in some fresh spring greens.  Add orange pieces and some crumbled feta cheese.  Toss that around in the bowl.  The dressing: one part strawberry balsamic, two parts walnut oil shaken well.  Yummy - I could have that dressing on just about anything.  On ice cream?  Hell yeah.

Try adding chopped grilled chicken to that salad and make that your whole meal.  You will be a hero!

Man-Sagna: It's Like Lasagna for Men

My son's swim team traditionally will "carb up" before a big swim meet.  This "pasta party" happens at our house with a dozen or so excited but exhausted swimmers every year.  The feast is followed by the tradition of shaving: heads, chests, legs, armpits, AND OTHER AREAS.  (Didn't need to see that!)

We wanted to put a new spin on the otherwise dull spaghetti with red sauce and began thinking of ways to crank up the flavor of the sauce.  Mario Batali would tell you it's the pasta - not the sauce.  ehh.  Who am I to argue?  I am the guy feeding a dozen hungry swimmers!  That's who!

Okay, so tomato-based sauce plus extra stuff equals marinara right?  Well, what if we go farther?  Add black olives, celery, (not impressed yet?) add STEAK, jalapeno peppers, beans!!  It's chili!  Oh Hell Yeah!  Layered with pasta, cheese, more chili, more cheese...

I give you MAN-SAGNA! 

Take your favorite lasagna recipe and ignore anything it says about the sauce.  Substitute chili.  Never out of a can, dude.  That's nasty.  Just make the chili the day before and refrigerate overnight to let the flavors get all happy.  Seriously, that's one thing that tastes great as leftovers.

My chili recipe is in the book (http://www.chicksdigyou.com/ ) and it makes plenty to eat right away and to save for the Man-Sagna recipe. 

Layer the chili,  cooked lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese (thinned with some chili), more chili, mozzarella, noodles, repeat as often as your baking dish will allow.  Bake at 350 degrees for about 90 minutes.  Let it sit for 20 minutes before cutting.

Grocery Store Hell

Express lane check out

Obey your signs.  I actually had a cashier once tell me to come over to the Express (8 Items or Less Only) Lane once when I had a cart heaped with groceries.  Eight items or less?  No, I had probably 88 items.

But I foolishly moved over to her lane with my 8 items and my additional 80 items, knowing that anyone ending up behind me would be pissed as hell.  Can you see where this is going?

Sure enough, some dork in black socks and high-top shoes with fish-belly-white legs and skin tight high school PE shorts buying smokes and beer, picking at his one good tooth ends up behind me.  He mutters under his breath about it being an Express Lane and who the hell can’t count around here?

Naturally I showed incredible self-restraint towards the dental poster boy and stewed silently.  Then, like the stand-up kind of guy I am, I asked the cashier to add his cheap beer and cigarettes to my bill so he could get on his way.  I was his hero and this guy actually began to seek me out in the store.  It got to be a little much, and I had to move to another city.

Don’t let this happen to you.  Obey your lane