Second City Sushi

Chopsticks: love 'em or hate 'em?  Did you catch the report on CNN about the American company that exports chopsticks to China (instead of the other way around)?  Georgia Chopsticks is an exporter of chopsticks and the company cannot keep up with the demand!

I happen to love chopsticks.  I learned to use chopsticks at an early age. When we were kids the choice of restaurant to celebrate our birthdays was DOMINATED by Benihana!  I loved watching the chef flipping knives, working fast, tapping rhythms with salt and pepper shakers.  This certainly was an influence and piqued my interest in learning to cook.

Sooo...  Fast forward.  Buddy of mine is in town, wants to take me to dinner.  I suggested a place near the office: Marc's Fusion Cafe for some amazing sushi.

You'd think he just ate a lemon.  His face contorts, his shoulders lift, "Sushi??  Ewww."

Dude.

It's fresh, it's fun.  Going out for sushi encourages chatting at the table, relaxing.  Not for Bob.

Okayyy... got me thinking here.  It's gotta be the very idea of raw fish.  (Now I know that "maki" is a sliced roll and "sashimi"  is a piece of fish, but we're gonna go with this one...)

Uncooked fish making you squirm a bit?  Fine.  Try my Second City Sushi!  We live in the Midwest!  It's steak and potato with a red-wine reduction for the sauce.  (Umm...Doug, why not just make a steak and potato?)  Good question, glad ya asked!

1. Small pieces, you can eat with your hands!  (Dudes love finger food!)  
2. Lots and lots of combinations here:

• Substitute chicken, pork, shrimp for the protein.  
• Substitute for the rice: potato, pasta, sprouts, cucumber (or leave the rice in there)

      3.  It's fun  (Gee it seems like a lot of work)  Yeah - but fun sometimes means work - ever go camping?

Play with your food!  Let me know what you think!

Be A Stud

Oven Poach - It Ain't That Damn Hard

Okay gentlemen... put down the tongs and step away from the grill.  If you are slapping your famous (insert meat of your choice here) on the grill and feeling like a hero, that's cool.  But you aren't cooking dinner if you aren't doing the side dish as well.

Specifically, if the One-You-Are-Out-To-Impress is doing everything else and handing you the raw meat on the platter, you may be feeling like The Shizzle.  (Dude nobody says that anymore.)  Really?  I just didn't think I could say you're The Shit.  I can?  Cool.

If you're feeling like doing everything: meat, rice, vegetable is too hectic a feat to pull off - I want you to feel awesome about yourself and impress the hell out of yourself as well as She-Who-Digs-You.  It's time to be a stud.


Try this: oven poaching.  Typically a poached meat is cooked on the stove in simmering liquid.  Nothing wrong with that, of course.  But I like the even, gentle heat of the oven.  If you put the fish (or chicken or whatev) in a baking dish and add just enough flavored broth to cover the bottom of the dish, the meat will have a yummy sauna to hang out in.  It gets all tender and juicy in the sauna sauce.

Sauna Sauce - Rich stock with fresh thyme, bay leaf and pepper!

The cool thing about oven-poaching is "you can't screw this up and it tastes fantastic".  Often when doing fish there is a very small window for doneness.  Two minutes less and your filet is still raw in the middle (frowns and pathetic pats on the arm); two minutes more and you got the typical, "oh it's too dry" (eye rolls when you're not looking, lots of water to wash it down).  Harsh, isn't it?

Here's the order of operations (math nerds rejoice!)

  Thaw the fish if it isn't already...

  Open a can of ready to use broth, put it in a pan with some pepper, herbs, etc.  Garlic?  Sure man!

  Simmer that for like 20 minutes while you have a drink.  You're setting the stage.  Chick noticing... um hmm

  Turn oven on to 375.  Smile like the badass you are.  (Oh, it's nothing... you want some more wine?)

  When the oven is up to temp, put all that stuff together in the baking dish and toss it in.

Sauteed Mushrooms with Cherry Tomatoes - going on top of the fish

  You've got like 15 to 20 minutes to put together the rest.  Can you handle it?  Hell yeah.  Uncle Ben's whole grain microwave rice (90 seconds!) and heat up a vegetable.  I did sauteed spinach (120 seconds!)  Figured I got time, I sauteed mushrooms, and tossed in quartered cherry tomatoes to top off the fish.

Got it?  Put it all on the plate.  This is a nice light meal leaving you plenty of room and calories to have a light dessert after.  Healthy, easy, smart.  Just like you - stud!

Be Good To Yourself

Be good to yourself.

This is a sexy refreshing cocktail that I made out of whatever we happened to have on hand.  The green stuff is fresh basil.  (Or do you say "baah sil"?)  No, you don't because that would sound stupid and pretentious.  Ahh screw it.  If it makes you laugh, do whatever you want.  We're all friends here.

The brown stuff is whiskey.  If I had bourbon on hand I would have done that, but I didn't.

The floating stuff is ice.  Yeah, duh.

What you don't see is the simple syrup.  Sugar, water and mixing.  How simple is that?  

You know what this recipe would be if you had rum?  And instead of baah sil you had mint?  It would be a mojito.  I did not want a mojito.  Watch Brian Griffin drink a mojito.  And I did not have mint.

 Put equal parts sugar and water into a glass and mash that up.  (There are better ways to do this involving boiling and cooling, but do you want to cook or do you want to drink?  Yeah, I thought so.)  Add a half dozen basil leaves and mash that up too.

Strain that into a glass and add whiskey.  Good stuff if you have it.  Add ice.  Swirl and enjoy.

Earlier this evening I was going to make dinner.  Mrs. Digs-Me was out for the evening.  Eating left-overs is not my thing, but it makes her happy when they get eaten.  I found some chicken, feta, couscous thing in the fridge.  That would be nice over some sauteed spinach...

It occurred to me to skip adding garlic to the oil.  It's just me after all.  Hey, screw that.  Add flavors!  You're worth it.  It's the little things!  Be good to yourself, my friends.

Funky Yummy Popcorn in Slo-Mo

Anything in slow motion is cool.  Add music and it's powerful, riveting stuff.  Behold the power of the montage.
Even commercials for golf tournaments use montages to make the sport exciting.

Quick aside:  You know damn well watching a golf tournament is three mind-numbing hours of green grass and bad pants.  (Congratulations to Rickie Fowler by the way: cool guy, bad clothes.)  Seriously, click on his name here and see his "collection".  Geez.  If I dressed like that?  Chicks dig wealthy guys who dress like that, but everyone else who dresses like that - no effin way!  I happen to like golf and I even watch on TV sometimes, but I'd rather play than watch.

Can slow motion make truly anything cool?  Let's see...  Try clicking here to see popcorn popping in slo-mo!  It's totally cool and one of the guys gets spattered with oil.  What's funny about that?  Are you kidding?  What's NOT funny about that!

Now why am I showing you popcorn?  Because I have this recipe see...

Click on the recipe page in the bar above.  You did notice that I put recipes up there for you, right?  Who cares about you more than anyone (besides your mom)?  That would be me.  Feel free to print them out and  share with chicks who dig you.

We had some amazing fries with truffle-oil, parmesan, and fresh pepper and I had the idea to make the same thing with popcorn.  It's my favorite snack in the world.  Every time I make this popcorn at home I get requests for more.

One word about truffle oil:  the earthy, funky flavor of a strong mushroom is not used in truffle oil.  It's actually olive oil with a synthetic additive (a thioether 2,4-dithiapentane).  Sexy, right?  Well truffles are expensive.  Like Rickie Fowler can afford them but not me type expensive.  But whatever...I'm not going to get all purist on you - it's the flavor that matters here.

And keeping your chick happy.  Dig that.

We're Being Invaded

Giant Asian shrimp are being found on our shores!     WE NEED BUTTER.  LOTS OF BUTTER!
Before any real panic sets in, we here at Chicks Dig Oceanographers Who Cook are going to calm your fears.  If the delicate ecosystem cannot sustain giant shrimp, bring them my way.  I know what to do with those  bad crustaceans.  Two movie references already?


The real concern is the giant shrimp are voracious eaters and are feeding on smaller shrimp (yeah, weird...they eat their own kind) and they are upsetting the delicate balance of our ecosystem.

Hmm... the giant shrimp are eating the small ones.  So?  You ever try peeling two dozen little things and dipping them in cocktail sauce?  What a pain in the ass.  Peel one giant one and munch that.  It's called efficiency baby.


Secondly, the balance of the native ecosystem?  Maybe we are witnessing an evolution of sorts.  Or perhaps like other species (Man for example), these yummy water-dwellers have been desperately trying to reach the Land of Opportunity!  America the Beautiful!  The NOAA website has the report on the science of this invasion.


I say, bring 'em on!  What else are the scientists freaking out about?


 Armored Catfish.  Yeah, I'd eat that.  His armor is no match for my Weber Grill!
 Northern Snakehead.  That bastard deserves to be eaten.  Clearly this guy is full of attitude - yup get my skillet.
  This thing has already been eaten and got pooped out.


   (all photos from http://news.yahoo.com/photos/freaky-fish-fuel-nightmares-slideshow/increase-massive-shrimp-discovered-gulf-photo-115900485.html.)


How about a recipe?  I'm here for you, sir.  We are going to need a sauce for the aqua-invaders. Everybody has a shrimp recipe...  Let's do fish.  Doug, why not shrimp?  Because I already have a fish picture and not a shrimp one, okay?

Salmon with lemon dill sauce.

1/2 Cup sour cream

2 teaspoons dill weed

juice from 1/4 lemon

salt and pepper to taste

salmon 

Mix the sour cream, dill, and lemon juice in a bowl and add salt and pepper to taste.  Both you and the sauce should chill for a while.

Brush olive oil on the salmon and season with salt and pepper.  Heat skillet over medium-high heat and sear salmon, skin side up for 3-4 minutes.  Carefully flip to skin side down and turn the heat down to medium to finish cooking.  Watch the sides to check for desired doneness.  I don't like salmon cooked to well-done.  When mine is medium-rare I turn the heat off and cover for five minutes.  

Top with yummy sauce.

I Have Seen The Future

Glad Torsdag!  (That's Happy Thursday to my Swedish friends)

I have seen the future and it is aquaponics.  

This is a symbiotic system for growing plants and raising fish using 10% of the water used in traditional farming.  It uses no soil - allowing urban farms to feed people where traditional farming is non-existent.  Aquaponics can be small-scale for home growers or large-scale commercial farms with practically no pollution.

 Check out 312 Aquaponics  If you are familiar with 312 Urban Wheat beer, you know that 312 is the area code in Chicago.  We here at Chicks Dig Central love Goose Island Products (see the Matlida blog post here for a kick-ass tuna recipe)!

A perusal of other website information on the subject will yield anything from classy blogs like Sylvia Berstein's excellent resource Aquaponic Gardening to goofy-ass bunker-living, gun-toting "Planners" who see this technology as their survival plan for Armageddon-end of the world-Mayan Doomsday scenarios.  (This one is pretty funny though...)

Now if you know for a FACT that your chick would dig you being THAT GUY, then by all means...

(picture from nationalgeographic.com)

 I personally will not be "Prepping" but this aquaponics should be on everyone's radar.  Particularly YOU - Guy who knows how to cook stuff.  You are going to be a superstar when all this delicious fish is being harvested.  (But Doug, how do I cook fish so it isn't dry and smelly?)

Glad you asked!  

Skillet Tilapia with Lemon-Cilantro Butter

4 Tablespoons softened butter

Juice of 1/2 lemon

fresh cilantro

2 thawed tilapia fillets

Combine first three ingredients in a bowl and mix well.  Set aside.

Heat non-stick skillet with one tablespoon olive oil over medium heat.  Add tilapia fillets and season lightly with salt and pepper.  Leave them the hell alone.  When the edges are white and the middle has only a little "pink" left, turn off the heat and cover.  Leave them the hell alone for about 4 minutes so they finish cooking.  I even have a photo for you!  (I know, it's crazy how much I care...)

Carefully slide them onto a plate and top with the lemon butter for an instant, yummy sauce.

Got it?  Serve with a crisp salad (grown aquaponically or not) and a nice Goose Island beer.  Watch out for prepping nut jobs.

More fish recipes in the book Chicks Dig Guys That Cook and some pretty funny stuff too...  Thanks for playing along!

Green Eggs - No Ham

What the hell is wrong with the chickens who laid these eggs?

I and She-Who-Digs me scored an invite to THE party of the season.  Bridget and Dave throw an amazing St. Patrick's Day party and Bridget makes some excellent corned-beef.  This party has all the Irish-ness befitting the day and none of the false-ness that marketing "experts" use to celebrate St. Patrick.

I'm talking to you SAB MillerCoors Brewing Company!

Yes I can and will look askew at green beer pretending to be Irish while I wear a green shirt despite the fact that I know of no Irish heritage of my own.  My thinking is if you're going to celebrate Ireland and things Irish then do that!  Green food coloring does not Irish beer make!

Well what about the Chicago River being dyed green?  Hmmm.  Okay that tradition goes way back and is cool as hell.  And the Irish population of Chicago is well deserving, so perhaps green food coloring does belong in the celebration discussion.

But, you will find no food coloring of any sort in my Not-At-All-Irish Deviled Eggs.  The green comes from avocado.  Yep, it's guacamole!

Most deviled egg recipes will call for mashing up the hard-boiled yolks and adding fat in the form of mayo.  I wanted all the protein, and none of the fat.  Check out the Hass Avocado website info!  
Here's an easy recipe for guacamole:
    4 ripe avocados
    juice of one half lime
    1 tablespoon minced garlic
    1/2 cup salsa
    salt and pepper to taste

Scoop the "meat" out of the avocados into a medium sized bowl.  Mash with a fork.  Add lime juice, garlic.  Drain a little juice out of the salsa so it doesn't make your guacamole too thin.  Add the chunky stuff from the salsa to the bowl and stir until smooth.  Add salt and pepper.  Refrigerate for a couple hours so the flavors get all happy together.

Meanwhile if you want to try the egg thing...  Put eggs into a pot of cold water.  When the water boils, cover the pan and turn off the heat.  Let it sit for 15 minutes.  Cool the eggs by running cold water over them.  When they are cool enough to touch, put them in the fridge for an hour or so.  Peel the hard boiled eggs, slice in half and toss the yolk out.

Put the guac into a ziploc-type bag and cut a little of the corner off so you can "pipe" the guac into the empty egg white halves.

Garnish with a little chopped cilantro if you like - OR a dab of Tabasco is fun too!  All the flavor - none of the fat.  Chicks Dig That!

Dinner In A Bowl

IT'S DINNER!  IN A BOWL!

Nothing will take you back to your childhood (or happy altered-state college days) like eating a meal out of a bowl.  You can't help but smile a little thinking about being the first one to open up a new box of Fruity Pebbles and pouring that nice cold milk over those rainbow colored crispy bits of happiness.  It is amazing however that kids these days have NO FREAKIN' IDEA who the Flintstones are - and yet they sell the crap outta that cereal.

Other GRRREAT!!!(pardon my Tony the Tiger) things come in bowls: ice-cream, chicken noodle soup,and chili just to name a few.  Let's turn it up to 11 here and have Dinner In A Bowl!

One of the ideas we like at home is the burrito in a bowl concept which I BORROWED from a restaurant chain that rhymes with Chip-Oh-Tlay.  But, check this out, you can change up the flavors and make it Mediterranean or Italian or Whateverian.

So typically you will have a starch like rice - well change it up amigo!  Change it up!  (But Doug, change is hard...)  Yeah, I know, change is hard - dollar bills are soft.  Which one do you like?  Uh huh, thought so.

Burrito = rice, beans, meat, cheese, onions, etc.

Dinner in a bowl turned up to 11 = tater tots, grilled steak, blue cheese and red wine, mushrooms sauce.

Or how about couscous, shrimp, cucumber, tomatoes, with dill and white wine-dijon dressing.

I am so doing this!!  And I am serving it to friends and they are going to love it and you will too!  (Shit Doug, calm down now...)  pant, pant, pant... okay Dude, sorry...  calming down.

Hey, if you like this stuff, and you like chicks digging you (and who wouldn't?)  subscribe to my blog!  If you're the first new subscriber, send me an email and I will send you a free copy of the book.  (I know, it's crazy how much I care about you!  I'm getting all emotional...)

You've Got To Be Kidding

Fall is here and I'm getting back into the kitchen.  Learned some new stuff that needs to be shared.  It's about soup.  Making soup from scratch versus opening a can.  Specifically you should know that opening a can is NOT going to get you chicks.

I have searched through numerous cookbooks and recipes online and discovered something amazing.  There are no recipes for soup.

"Shut the hell up Doug, I know for a damn fact that soup recipes exist."

Yes, my friend you are right, and I'm curious about your inner rage, but never mind that.  What I learned is that there is no ONE recipe for soup.  This was astounding to me.

Here at Chicks Dig Central there was a request for "Butternut Squash Soup" from Mrs. Chick.  Knowing that the Digging Me One would be quite happy to have butternut squash soup show up on the table on a cool autumn day, I decided to look for some ideas.

My usual modus operandi is to fire up all things Google and see what looks good (and what we might have in the fridge).  Imagine my surprise when the recipe lists for butternut squash soup contained anywhere from three ingredients to twenty-three ingredients!  Some of the recipes even had duck feathers!  Just kidding.

Looking at all the different options for making one soup was a bit puzzling, but it didn't take long to realize that some chefs put their own spin on a dish (or in this case a bowl).  I looked at other recipes for varying soups and found the same thing.  But, (here's the cool part) there are some common approaches to making one soup base and changing it up to be several happy endings in a warm, comforting bowl.

The Test Kitchen at Dig This Headquarters has been all abuzz with the institution of "Soup Sundays".  Starting with leeks, potatoes and chicken broth, we have made: Leek and Potato Soup (duhhh...), Watercress Soup, Spinach Bisque, and the afore mentioned Butternut Squash Soup.

Want some?  It's pretty easy...  Start with trimming 3 leeks (just the white or lightest green part) and 2 medium sized peeled potatoes chopped up.  Saute those in oil for 5 minutes, then pour in 64 ounces of chicken broth.  Simmer that for 20 minutes and blend it all up to make it nice and smooth.  Put it back into the pot to simmer for another 20 minutes so all that flavor can get happy together.  Taste it and you'll see it needs salt and pepper.  Add a little bit (teaspoon of salt, couple dashes of pepper) and taste it again.

You just made leek and potato soup.  It's really good.  You're getting veggies and comfort.  Serve it with bread and you can make that a meal.  I did the leek and potato soup and added shredded cheese and crumbled bacon to the bowl and it was freakin awesome!

Add peeled butternut squash before you do the simmer part and you've got butternut squash soup.  (I cut up the squash and scooped out the seeds.  Then put it in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes first.  Makes it easier to deal with.)

It's easy, it's tasty, and chicks dig that.

Lemme know what you think...

Up In Smoke

There are of course many fans of baseball who like to cook.  Some of these fans are even hot women, so here at Chicks Dig Headquarters we are ever vigilant to monitor issues that affect you: "Guy Who Aims to Impress Chicks"!  AND at the bottom of the page is a grilling idea to help you elevate your backyard culinary skills.

A couple of rules here to get us started.  First, baseball is best enjoyed in the movies.  "The Sandlot."  "Field of Dreams" ("The man's done enough.  Leave him alone.")  "Bull Durham".  "A League of Their Own".  (A little shout out to my home of Rockford - nice.)

Second, the Chicago Cubs are awful.  Enough said.

There is a baseball issue in the news that irks me : July 2, 2011 Tampa Rays (formerly Devil Rays - what's up with changing the name?) versus St. Louis Cardinals.  Watch the throwback jerseys the Rays will wear.  They will be sporting the jersey of the Tampa Smokers.  Keith Morelli of The Tampa Tribune reports that the image of the lit cigar in the underscore of "Smokers" will be eliminated.   Click here for the whole story .

Notice the updated jersey STILL SAYS "Smokers"!  Duh!  Take out the cigar and you change the message!  What?  Are you kidding me?  It says "Smokers"!  Choose your own side of the smoke-free debate.  (I'm pro-choice.)

photo: Tampa Bay Rays

This is ignorant on the part of the Tampa Rays organization.  Dabbling in revisionist history is dangerous.  The very idea that we can promote "smoke-free" and safe-guard our children's children for the future is another bone-headed politically correct notion that lazy parents (and legislators) cling to.  They look to goofy acts like this to teach people, old and young, that you don't need to get facts and make decisions appropriate to your needs.  Just trust Big Brother to take care of all your needs.

Do we really think there will come a day when we have eradicated the very idea of smoking?  When an image of a lit cigar will invoke a tiny voice to ask, "Daddy, what's that?"  No.  The choice of smoking is a discussion that every parent must have with their child.  It goes something like this: "Well little Tommy, smoking has been shown to be a habit that can make people very sick.  Some people still like to do it.  I choose to have a cigar once in a while because I like them.  I looked at the risks and decided to smoke only occasionally.  Someday you will have to make your own choice."  (Actual discussion with my own guys.)  Click here to say hi to Dennis

Now don't get me wrong.  Not all smoking laws are evil and off-base.  (Baseball reference!  Ha!  Get it?  The Cubs are evil!)  wait for it, wait for it... okay.  Moving on.  I like the smoking ban in restaurants because I like to taste my pork - not your Camel. 

I promised you a grilling idea.  You got it exhalted Barbeque BigWig!

Here's a way to make smoking work FOR you.  A tip for summertime grilling for ya!  Think of a fresh spice that would complement your grilled meat.  Fresh thyme and chicken.  Fresh chives and beef.  Whatever.  Next time you step out to the grill grab a bunch of fresh herbs from the produce section of the grocery and place six or seven sprigs right next to the meat on the grill and close the lid.  Check it later and you'll see the charred remains of herbal yumminess - yeah go ahead and add some more!  You've got nowhere to go, right?  The smoking herb will infuse the meat with a flavor that you can't get out of jar.  Use this in addition to your regular spices and you'll find combinations that will get you noticed.  Chicks Dig You!

Silence of the Limes

Mark Zuckerberg, this one's for you!

Mr. Zuckerberg founded Facebook (you did see The Social Network, right?  good movie).  Mark has taken to eating only meat that he himself has slaughtered.  The goal of this is to make him more thoughtful about what he is ingesting and thankful for the life of the animal.  He reportedly started with a live lobster and has since killed and eaten other animals: pig, chicken, goat.  When he is not eating meat (because he didn't take them down himself) he eats a vegetarian diet.  Which brings to mind the obvious question:  Who kills the vegetarians that he eats?

Ooooh.  Sorry.  Bad taste.  (Get it?) 

In all seriousness, we here at Chicks Dig Citrus Ranch (home of the Happy Fruit) applaud Mr. Zuckerberg's efforts at conscientous consuming and wish to further his education by offering the proper way to slaughter limes.  Limes are an important part of any health-conscious consumer of... BEER!  Corona plus vitamin C equals nutrition.  Hot women on TV are seen drinking beer - so that means it's true.

We must take proper care to get this delicious vitamin into our diet in a respectful, responsible fashion.

WARNING -  the images presented are graphic in nature and may be disturbing to some... (wussies!)

Click video HERE

What does one do with all those dead but delicious limes?  Make Lime-Tequila Wings baby!

Lime-Tequila Wings

Sweet, Salty, Juicy, Yummy - you get it!  Fan-Freaking-Tastic!

Here's the recipe:



Get your package of chicken wings and make sure they’re thawed.  Put them in a large Zip-type bag and pour in a cup of tequila.  Squeeze the juice from two limes in there and throw in the carcasses.  Sprinkle sea salt (2 Tablespoons or so) on top.  Seal it up and let that marinate for a couple hours.  You are brining the chicken with the salt and adding flavor with the tequila!  God!  How cool is that?  Remember to turn the bag over every once in a while.  Drink some tequila in the mean time.

Heat up the grill to medium-high and space the wings evenly apart.  Sprinkle on a little seasoned salt and grill the wings for ten minutes on each side.  Now turn down the heat to medium-low and finish ‘em off low and slow until they are golden brown and crispy.  This part takes about an hour so take your time.  Every 10 to15 minutes during the low and slow part squeeze a little more lime over the wings.  It's important!  The lime is going to carmelize to a sweet, sticky, yummy glaze!  When your are done, sprinkle on a little sea salt.

Tell all your friends how hard you worked and how much the ladies dig you!

Tuna Vs. Alligator

Earlier this month, Cook County Sheriffs arrested 43 year old Dewayne Yarbrough for misdemeanor charge of possession of a dangerous animal.  Seems five years ago he purchased an alligator and has been raising it in his suburban home ever since.  He was asked why an alligator and replied, "because chicks dig it".

Dude...

Let's clear one thing up.
I don't know of any chick who would dig a guy just because he keeps an alligator in his house.  How many chicks would dig a guy with one hand missing - knowing that his pet ate his hand?  See, I think of all the things that could possibly impress a woman, reckless endangerment of limbs and appendages would be at the bottom of the list. 

By the way, the alligator was fed 10 live mice per week.  Yeah, I doubt the chicks are going to be digging the mice either.  Is she really going to feel happy and safe and content being in the same house as rodents and reptiles?

She wants a thrill?  Take her driving on the Dan Ryan with a 15 year-old behind the wheel on a learner's permit.

You know what she WILL dig? Tuna Tacos!  Click on the link for the story!  Click Right Here

Getting Wild With Goats

Recently the bill was passed in Florida making it illegal to hump a goat.

Sen. Nan Rich pushed for the change in state law after being disgusted by a report in 2007 of a serial goat raper on the loose in the Sunshine State.  Interestingly it took 3 tries to pass the bestiality bill making it illegal to have sexual activity between humans and animals which begs the question: what the hell took so long?  Who said, "now wait just a doggone minute here - maybe the animal in question was consenting?" 

Sidenote: the same day the "droopy drawers bill" was passed.  Those criminal baggy-pants wearing teens imitating their favorite rapper-du jour will take note.  Showing your Sponge Bob underwear while crossing the street holding up your jeans as you trot will not be tolerated.  I wonder if law makers have the same problem with seeing young girls' thong straps showing above the rise of their jeans?  Naw I didn't think so either.  Come on Florida!  Really?  This one you can and should look the other way.  It's a fad.  Remember the crappy pastel colored leisure suits you wore in the 70's?  Nobody outlawed that shit and it was just as offensive.

One thing we cannot condone though is animal humping.  Well thank God goats and other innocent animals are now free to roam the streets in the eyes of Florida law enforcement officials! 

Here at Chicks Dig Central we are very interested in exploring happiness in any form one can find it on this crazy planet but remain staunch believers in obeying the law while pursuing such happiness.  May we suggest the pleasure seeker enjoy the animal in a gustatory fashion?  It can be stimulating in very many ways: visual, tactile, olfactory, etc. 

In fact let's put together a date night celebrating the goat!  Cheese, that is!

Go buy a nice artisan loaf of bread, and some goat cheese.  Make sure you have on hand some good wine (one of my new faves - the Z 52 zinfandel is a great choice here) and maybe pick up a nice charcuterie - ham, sausage, prosciutto, or whatever looks good.  Also pick up a nice ripe pear or two and a little dark chocolate for dessert.  Soften the cheese and put it in a bowl then add chopped chives.  Stir that up and make sure the chopped chives are mixed in real well.  Set that aside.  You're gonna have a picnic!  (What?) 

This is all about easy dude!  Slice the bread kind of thin and pour on a little olive oil and sprinkle lightly with salt and fresh pepper.  Put it on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees to toast it lightly.  Eight to ten minutes?  Yeah, good.  Meanwhile slice the meat and the pear so they are nice and thin.  Put the hot bread slices, the meat, the pear onto a plate.  Have fun trying different combinations of flavors:  bread with pear, meat with cheese, pear with cheese, etc. 

The creamy mouthfeel of the food works on the tongue with the wine and makes you and her happy.  That is a much better (and legal) way to pleasure yourself with a goat!  Animal humping - no.  Getting wild - yes.

I Am Squints

In the movie "The Sandlot" (referenced in my last blog, so I'm just going with it here) "Squints Palledorous launches himself to the bottom of the swimming pool after years of watching Wendy Peffercorn, the lifeguard rubbing and oiling herself (she knew damn well the boys couldn't help but stare).  Wendy jumps in after Squints and begins mouth to mouth resuscitation - all part of Squints' plan.  He plants a big kiss and walks taller that day.

Today I am walking taller.  After putting myself out there by agreeing to cook for twenty-four people a menu of filet mignon with three mushroom sauce, rosemary-garlic potatoes, bread with lemon-parsley compound butter... I am Squints.

With awesome help from: Tom, Toby, Brian, Tom and Scott we cooked for and served 24 mothers and sons and they left for the dance smiling, happy, and satisfied.  Chicks dig that.

My favorite part is stopping amidst the chaos to enjoy the laughing, smiling faces and the sounds of the dinner plates as the forks are reloaded for another bite of yumm.  We dads hit the obligatory high-fives and soaked in the revelry.  Then got busy plating dessert, pouring wine, refilling water glasses and serving.

For those who asked, here is a rough sketch of how to do the sauce:

Make the sauce the day before, because feeding that many is too difficult to handle every task.  Chop 3 large shallots and saute in butter about five minutes, add chopped shiitake, cremini, portabella mushrooms (about half-pound each) and cook medium-high for 10 more minutes.  Add half bottle of good red wine and reduce heat to medium.  Simmer that until volume of liquid is down to about one-third of total.  Now add 3 cups of low sodium beef broth and simmer that until reduced to half.  At that point I cooled and stored the sauce.

Next day I brought it up to heat slowly and added fresh rosemary and just before serving, adjusted the salt and pepper to taste.  Whisk in a little butter (that's called mounting) and you're ready to go.

The other one that people asked about was the compound butter.  This is a cool thing because you can serve it with bread or vegetables.  OR you can put a little on top of a nice piece of fish or even a steak.  As it melts it turns into its own yummy sauce!  I know!  How cool!

Soften one stick of butter and add the zest of one lemon.  Chop a handful of fresh parsley and stir well.  It will still be soft, so spoon that onto clear plastic wrap and form it into a long tube.  Twist the ends to close and place it into the fridge so it will firm up again.  When chilled, slice into little disks and serve.

Happy People Eating Good Food

rock on,

Squints

Put Yourself Out There

Dudes (and Dudettes),

Life is not worth playing it safe all the time.  Do you remember in the movie "The Sandlot" when "Squints" plans to drown himself in the pool just to have the lifeguard give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?  He took a chance and became a hero that day.

We are not given confidence - it is only earned when we challenge ourselves.  "Squints" walked a little taller that day.

I am going to walk taller in one week or I am going to fall flat on my goofy face.  Here is my challenge.  I volunteered to cook for what I thought was a group of ten people.  It turned out to be twenty-four.  But wait.  It gets worse.  I am cooking petite fillet with mushroom sauce, rosemary-garlic baked potatoes with a lemon compound butter, and I hope to have a nice dessert in there for after the meal and before the dance.

Here's the background.  Every year the high school has a mother-son dance and every year the dancers go out to eat at a local restaurant prior to arriving at the dance.  The highlight of the evening is never the meal - in fact very often the guys get very little to eat and they are rushed.  Not a great way to start the festivities.

This year one of the moms suggested doing an elegant meal at home, without the rush and stress for all the guys - and wouldn't you know it - in a heartbeat I volunteered to cook for everybody.

Now why the hell would I do something like that?  Dude, number one: I never go to these dances - I have sons, no daughters, number two: I know how to cook, number three: my wife and son are going and I want them to have fun and by the way I happen to know  that "Chicks Dig Guys That Cook"!  Oh!  So there you have it - I am putting myself out there.  Cooking for 24 people is quite likely going to be a freaking train wreck.  (Or I could be a freaking legend...)

I want you to put yourself out there too.  It is worth the risk to become a legend - the guy that can be counted on. 

I will do my best to make this a success.  If I fail, I will still have lived the thrill of that roller-coaster ride - but I will be the guy that peed all over himself, stepping out of the ride with kids laughing hysterically at me. 

Keep you posted...

To Grill or Not To Grill

Ok - we gotta talk.  Too many guys are avoiding cooking if they can't use a grill.  Spring is coming and grilling weather will be here soon, but come on!  I agree that there is something soul-satisfying - even primal - about grilling meat with flame (making it the near exclusive domain of "Man's Job") but it feels kind of limiting to the palette of flavors that you can create.

"No, no no!"   I hear guys defending their rightful place outside - tongs in one hand, beer in the other. 

"Yeah!  That's what I'm talking about."  Okay, calm yourself.  I get it.  You may be thinking that it's cool if she does everything else and hands you a plate of raw meat.  You're a hero.

Those dinners are fine and the two of you are working together and having fun.  (You are offering to help with the dishes, right?)

Try this though.  Ramp up your game.  She would totally dig you for cooking the whole meal and you may not be able to step out to the grill necessarily.  I'm going to help you get yourself dug.  "Thanks, Doug!"  You're welcome.

Thaw two chicken breasts and rub olive oil all over them.  Put a handful of finely chopped pecans on a plate and add salt and pepper.  "Whoa.  How much?"  Not much.  A teaspoon or so of salt and half teaspoon of pepper.  Roll the chicken around in that like a kid rolling around in a pile of leaves.  Happy chicken!

Let that sit for a bit while you get the oven preheated to 350 degrees and get a skillet on the stove.  Heat that skillet til it's hot!  Add a little bit of oil to the pan and sear the chicken for a minute on each side.  Then finish the chicken in the oven for twelve minutes.  (It's still cooking, but kind of resting too.)  Comes out crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. 

Obviously the coating could not be done on the grill the same way, so I want you to have this in your arsenal.  You can serve this with couscous (easy directions on the box - stir in a little feta and a few sun dried tomatoes that you've chopped up), a nice salad and a Kendal-Jackson Chardonnay.

Let me know how you like it!