I Am Squints

In the movie "The Sandlot" (referenced in my last blog, so I'm just going with it here) "Squints Palledorous launches himself to the bottom of the swimming pool after years of watching Wendy Peffercorn, the lifeguard rubbing and oiling herself (she knew damn well the boys couldn't help but stare).  Wendy jumps in after Squints and begins mouth to mouth resuscitation - all part of Squints' plan.  He plants a big kiss and walks taller that day.

Today I am walking taller.  After putting myself out there by agreeing to cook for twenty-four people a menu of filet mignon with three mushroom sauce, rosemary-garlic potatoes, bread with lemon-parsley compound butter... I am Squints.

With awesome help from: Tom, Toby, Brian, Tom and Scott we cooked for and served 24 mothers and sons and they left for the dance smiling, happy, and satisfied.  Chicks dig that.

My favorite part is stopping amidst the chaos to enjoy the laughing, smiling faces and the sounds of the dinner plates as the forks are reloaded for another bite of yumm.  We dads hit the obligatory high-fives and soaked in the revelry.  Then got busy plating dessert, pouring wine, refilling water glasses and serving.

For those who asked, here is a rough sketch of how to do the sauce:

Make the sauce the day before, because feeding that many is too difficult to handle every task.  Chop 3 large shallots and saute in butter about five minutes, add chopped shiitake, cremini, portabella mushrooms (about half-pound each) and cook medium-high for 10 more minutes.  Add half bottle of good red wine and reduce heat to medium.  Simmer that until volume of liquid is down to about one-third of total.  Now add 3 cups of low sodium beef broth and simmer that until reduced to half.  At that point I cooled and stored the sauce.

Next day I brought it up to heat slowly and added fresh rosemary and just before serving, adjusted the salt and pepper to taste.  Whisk in a little butter (that's called mounting) and you're ready to go.

The other one that people asked about was the compound butter.  This is a cool thing because you can serve it with bread or vegetables.  OR you can put a little on top of a nice piece of fish or even a steak.  As it melts it turns into its own yummy sauce!  I know!  How cool!

Soften one stick of butter and add the zest of one lemon.  Chop a handful of fresh parsley and stir well.  It will still be soft, so spoon that onto clear plastic wrap and form it into a long tube.  Twist the ends to close and place it into the fridge so it will firm up again.  When chilled, slice into little disks and serve.

Happy People Eating Good Food

rock on,

Squints

Put Yourself Out There

Dudes (and Dudettes),

Life is not worth playing it safe all the time.  Do you remember in the movie "The Sandlot" when "Squints" plans to drown himself in the pool just to have the lifeguard give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?  He took a chance and became a hero that day.

We are not given confidence - it is only earned when we challenge ourselves.  "Squints" walked a little taller that day.

I am going to walk taller in one week or I am going to fall flat on my goofy face.  Here is my challenge.  I volunteered to cook for what I thought was a group of ten people.  It turned out to be twenty-four.  But wait.  It gets worse.  I am cooking petite fillet with mushroom sauce, rosemary-garlic baked potatoes with a lemon compound butter, and I hope to have a nice dessert in there for after the meal and before the dance.

Here's the background.  Every year the high school has a mother-son dance and every year the dancers go out to eat at a local restaurant prior to arriving at the dance.  The highlight of the evening is never the meal - in fact very often the guys get very little to eat and they are rushed.  Not a great way to start the festivities.

This year one of the moms suggested doing an elegant meal at home, without the rush and stress for all the guys - and wouldn't you know it - in a heartbeat I volunteered to cook for everybody.

Now why the hell would I do something like that?  Dude, number one: I never go to these dances - I have sons, no daughters, number two: I know how to cook, number three: my wife and son are going and I want them to have fun and by the way I happen to know  that "Chicks Dig Guys That Cook"!  Oh!  So there you have it - I am putting myself out there.  Cooking for 24 people is quite likely going to be a freaking train wreck.  (Or I could be a freaking legend...)

I want you to put yourself out there too.  It is worth the risk to become a legend - the guy that can be counted on. 

I will do my best to make this a success.  If I fail, I will still have lived the thrill of that roller-coaster ride - but I will be the guy that peed all over himself, stepping out of the ride with kids laughing hysterically at me. 

Keep you posted...

To Grill or Not To Grill

Ok - we gotta talk.  Too many guys are avoiding cooking if they can't use a grill.  Spring is coming and grilling weather will be here soon, but come on!  I agree that there is something soul-satisfying - even primal - about grilling meat with flame (making it the near exclusive domain of "Man's Job") but it feels kind of limiting to the palette of flavors that you can create.

"No, no no!"   I hear guys defending their rightful place outside - tongs in one hand, beer in the other. 

"Yeah!  That's what I'm talking about."  Okay, calm yourself.  I get it.  You may be thinking that it's cool if she does everything else and hands you a plate of raw meat.  You're a hero.

Those dinners are fine and the two of you are working together and having fun.  (You are offering to help with the dishes, right?)

Try this though.  Ramp up your game.  She would totally dig you for cooking the whole meal and you may not be able to step out to the grill necessarily.  I'm going to help you get yourself dug.  "Thanks, Doug!"  You're welcome.

Thaw two chicken breasts and rub olive oil all over them.  Put a handful of finely chopped pecans on a plate and add salt and pepper.  "Whoa.  How much?"  Not much.  A teaspoon or so of salt and half teaspoon of pepper.  Roll the chicken around in that like a kid rolling around in a pile of leaves.  Happy chicken!

Let that sit for a bit while you get the oven preheated to 350 degrees and get a skillet on the stove.  Heat that skillet til it's hot!  Add a little bit of oil to the pan and sear the chicken for a minute on each side.  Then finish the chicken in the oven for twelve minutes.  (It's still cooking, but kind of resting too.)  Comes out crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. 

Obviously the coating could not be done on the grill the same way, so I want you to have this in your arsenal.  You can serve this with couscous (easy directions on the box - stir in a little feta and a few sun dried tomatoes that you've chopped up), a nice salad and a Kendal-Jackson Chardonnay.

Let me know how you like it!

Notes from Oscar Night - Cigar Can Wait

When a very attractive woman says she liked the dinner you cooked and hey how about hanging out and watching the Oscars together but you were planning on having a cigar and maybe reading a book...the answer is yes.  The recipe for a killer spinach salad is at the end for you!

She loves the glamorous dresses and the colorful sets!  It's so exciting!  Let's fill out an Oscar ballot and see who gets the most right!

ehh...

Some random notes on Oscar Night -

I see people I recognize sort of but couldn't tell you who they are.  I feel a little like a Ted Kaczynski type.  How is all this pop culture passing me by?  My attention was wandering for a bit thinking about spring and golfing.  Somebody mentioned lesbians.  Kind of snaps you right back, doesn't it?

Picked winners for films I never even saw but I can honestly say these guesses were not like throwing a dart.  Can't really explain that.  Nor can I explain Kirk Douglas - painful to watch.

Dude wins Best Adapted Screenplay for Social Network and says he's looking for respect from the guinea pig???   Huh?

Charlie Sheen is the new punchline.  nice...  Christian Bale needs to fill the F-Bomb void since Melissa Leo left the stage!  Randy Newman?  Family Guy got him exactly right.  Banksy gets mention - cool.  Now if I could get an app that would permanently block Celine Dion from my life I would be all set.

How did I get to share this Oscar Night with a lovely lady?  I think it was the spinach salad -

Tear some spinach leaves and toss in some fresh spring greens.  Add orange pieces and some crumbled feta cheese.  Toss that around in the bowl.  The dressing: one part strawberry balsamic, two parts walnut oil shaken well.  Yummy - I could have that dressing on just about anything.  On ice cream?  Hell yeah.

Try adding chopped grilled chicken to that salad and make that your whole meal.  You will be a hero!

Man-Sagna: It's Like Lasagna for Men

My son's swim team traditionally will "carb up" before a big swim meet.  This "pasta party" happens at our house with a dozen or so excited but exhausted swimmers every year.  The feast is followed by the tradition of shaving: heads, chests, legs, armpits, AND OTHER AREAS.  (Didn't need to see that!)

We wanted to put a new spin on the otherwise dull spaghetti with red sauce and began thinking of ways to crank up the flavor of the sauce.  Mario Batali would tell you it's the pasta - not the sauce.  ehh.  Who am I to argue?  I am the guy feeding a dozen hungry swimmers!  That's who!

Okay, so tomato-based sauce plus extra stuff equals marinara right?  Well, what if we go farther?  Add black olives, celery, (not impressed yet?) add STEAK, jalapeno peppers, beans!!  It's chili!  Oh Hell Yeah!  Layered with pasta, cheese, more chili, more cheese...

I give you MAN-SAGNA! 

Take your favorite lasagna recipe and ignore anything it says about the sauce.  Substitute chili.  Never out of a can, dude.  That's nasty.  Just make the chili the day before and refrigerate overnight to let the flavors get all happy.  Seriously, that's one thing that tastes great as leftovers.

My chili recipe is in the book (http://www.chicksdigyou.com/ ) and it makes plenty to eat right away and to save for the Man-Sagna recipe. 

Layer the chili,  cooked lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese (thinned with some chili), more chili, mozzarella, noodles, repeat as often as your baking dish will allow.  Bake at 350 degrees for about 90 minutes.  Let it sit for 20 minutes before cutting.